Age Is Just A Number? Filipina Age-Gap Relationship; What You Should Know

About Me.. Since 2012 I’ve been traveling through various islands of the Philippines as a full-time Expat. (Mactan, Bohol, Panglao, Moalboal, Dumaguete, Bacong, Boracay, Cebu) I recently spent the year living in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

Share with me here my ongoing adventures of life in the Philippines. Dating, vlogging, cooking, traveling, expenses, visas and the information you need to make your own plans for living as a full-time expat in Southeast Asia. Subscribe for my upcoming videos and Click the Bell for notifications.
— Reekay

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    My Story:

    After 49 years of doing the hamster-wheel in California, I finally left it all
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    for 6 years, experienced some of the best times of my entire life!

    Now, I am exploring again and living in Vietnam. Join me as I venture out to see
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    — Reekay

    1. that’s true younger filipina love older guys coz responsible and trustworthy

    2. yes, you are mistaken. lyn was 21 when we met. not a ‘teenager’. whoever told you otherwise is clueless. my previous filipina g/f’s were 27, 31, 22, (lyn.. 21) and the last, 22. this was over a period of 9 years.

      you are also mistaken when you commented i’d said, “if there is an age gap of more than eight years almost for certain the relationship will fail.” i said that relationships where the expat takes the filipina TO HIS HOME COUNTRY are most likely to fail with a large age-gap. however, if the expat remains in the PH, the odds of success go way up.

      as for me, i don’t visit the ph, i have been living there for 6 years, now a year in vietnam. i’m not an occaisonal visitor, i’m fortunate enough that i can stay in southeast asia the rest of my life and live where i choose.

      i also never, ever said anything about ‘spoiling’ a woman. in fact, i’ve made it very clear, repeatedly to, “not throw money at a woman”, but to also respect her obligations to her parents if engaged in a long-term relationship.

      hope that clears up any incorrect info you may have been given.

    1. Wayne A: why are you “uneasy” about an older man with a young girl ?

    2. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea

      Same… And when I say some things, my fiance gets mad… Actually, lots of culture this puss me off oh Phillipines… And the garbage throwing.

      Adult kids in house are lazy and free loading and spending their money on junk.

      I buy everything and pay the bills… Finances adult daughter paid for garbage bags one day and made sure I returned it even though she’s free loading…

    3. i get uneasy around loud, undisciplined kids. really drives me nuts. i didn’t let my kids behave like that in public.

  2. I believe people say age is just a number in order to shut down a conversation. The larger the age gap the more issues that can come up (especially if the girl is in her early 20’s where she is still discovering herself). Sure some people will have a more business type relationship which as you say is fine if both are honest with each other. 1 year together before getting married is good. 🙂👍

    1. All About The Philippines: hi Peter – good to see you weigh in on this discussion . (fr USA).

    2. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea Enrique: what were some of these “bad personality traits” you speak of ?

    3. Like Henry says in his video, I’ve also noted that filipinas can be very mature in their thinking at a much younger age then here in the USA. When I met and dated my wife in her 20’s she was more mature, trustworthy and dependable (other than being on time) than my previous ex wife 2x her age. That’s one of the many beauties of the people and culture there. Amazing in many ways.

    4. Maybe so but generally a young woman has so much changing to do as she grows in to herself through her twenties.But everyone and every relationship is different and good luck to all in their relationships.

    5. i’d say, ‘different’ issues come up. when i dated a woman in her mid-40’s (in vietnam), she knew her identity and unfortunately was ‘settled-in’ to some bad personality traits that eventually made it impossible to continue the relationship. getting on in years is no guarantee of maturity, unfortunately.

  3. Thanks Reekay for the video. It reminds me of the importance of not only the impact we have on our significant other but also how they can mentor us. 🙂

  4. Never underestimate a 21 year old filipina who grew up fluent in three languages and is probably already in University. If you want a long term relationship with one of these “girls”, you better have your act together.

    1. Universities have taken a bit hit even in the US lately–generally the diplomas have always been even flakier in much of the 3rd world. But we agree it’d foolish for an old dotard with a few bucks to underestimate any woman.

    2. And if they study nursing, they can make megabucks in the states now. Isnt that what they study? But having said that, my son had to go the hospital in Las Vegas, beautiful hospital with all international nurses who barely spoke English and didnt even know what they were giving him when I asked, and left his arm all bruised from shots, but I dont know where each was from exactly.

    3. @Wing Commander … bastard,.. you know you are hated by many here – me included ;-))

    4. G.Russell
      Then I guess I’m okay because my Zamboanguenya wife speaks 5.
      Plus we’ve been married since ‘98 and she still looks 21.

    5. very true. i had a relationship with a filipina, age 23, who spoke english, tagalog, ilongo, visayan, spanish and a bit of korean and japanese. she wrote poetry, did DSLR photography, managed businesses and very intelligent.

  5. Yes honesty is the best policy. It will save you a how bunch of hassel. Plus your not hurting people.

  6. Bogey was in The Maltese Falcon with Peter Lorre, not Casablanca. Not that it changes the point you were making.

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea OK. How many times have you seen it? I’d estimate about 30 for myself. And I’d rank it in the top 3 movies ever, along with The Manchurian Candidate (the original), and My Fair Lady

    2. @PalJoey 1957 after learning of the friendship between bogart and lorre, i thought the following lines from Casablanca were kinda funny… 🙂

      “you despise me, don’t you rick?”
      “i suppose if i gave you any thought, i would.”
      “and it’s because you feel this way, i believe you are the only one i can trust.”

    3. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea Ah, you’re right. I forgot Ugarte.
      “Tell me Ricky, why did you come to Casablanca?”
      “I came to Casablanca for the waters.”
      “What waters, we’re in the desert?”
      “I was misinformed.”

  7. the temporary problem, I feel, is a good Idea. I took 1 year, to find out about my perspective, tword her. With my understanding, She was 18 years younger, or born just after I graduated high school. We grew together, but over time, I learned she wanted to live within $2000 a month, my SSI was

  8. Great Video Reekay about mentoring! My parents were the same in the sense that they both had their strong points and shared the knowledge. It really cemented it for me when my Dad explained it to me as a Teen, and I carried it to this day. Hearing you and a couple of other vloggers say the same, gives me content thoughts on my situation. Thanks again for refreshing the old values of my Father! Salamat Po! One of your Finest videos!

  9. Hello Everyone,

    JB here. Guess I should tell you my story. 4 years ago I met a filipina online through a mutual friend. She is 26. I am just abit older than her. Been around the world and I’ve seen alot. We got along and started as friends. Her feelings for me developed faster than mine for her. Mine grew over time. Unfortunately she and I no longer speak. Everything ended back in April 2019. She gave me a story that was only partially true. She wanted to go back and be friends. This was literally out of the clear blue, as she had wanted feelings and love from me (which isnt easy for me to give).

    7 months later I found out the truth. In the 4 years we knew one another, she was actually going and messing around with one of her friends twice a year every year we had been talking. I never knew this. Later I looked back, and some strange occurrences made more sense. I did spend some money on her (she hated that I did that) she never asked for it, she didnt want me to do it, but I was genuinely trying to help. She did work the whole time we were speaking but she didnt make alot of money. I had plans to go visit her in June 2019, but obviously that did not happen due to the events of April.

    Needless to say, that has caused me some great heartache. Be careful. Not everyone is what they seem as I learned the hard way.

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea Lol. I just made a comment that says to exactly look out for this. The woman wants him around for sex. Yet he is looking for a loyal monogamous relationship.

      Part of the problem is the man does not get that some woman would be interested in him just to use him for sex. Ironically, this is the exact behavior some skeevy men use to get sex out of women by pretending they love them. He doesn’t think women do this to men so he is completely blindsided when it happens.

      Men get sex out of pretty girls by swearing they love them, not the other way around? Don’t believe it. A man should be as skeptical as a blond girl with large breasts among a bunch of drunk horny guys.

      What does the woman want (as opposed to what she told) is first, even before the issue of long term relationships don’t exist unless there is a clear time line.

      For example, my brother married a Phillipa girl living in Cypress. They had an 8 month long term relationship but ONLY because he had decided to marry her and that time was spent working with immigration. Less than a week after she got here, they were married. Less than a year later, they had my niece.

    2. @Ann Tasulcusdel Hi Ann. I just left Cebu and saw so many bad sex tourists it sickened me. I went there to meet a woman, left her as she was not serious and met a woman right before I left. I am happy to report there are SOME good foreigners, but Cebu was a cess pool of scum. Good luck to you and yes, be careful

    3. Sorry JB about your experience with the filipina. We are opposite, I had bad experience too with the foreigner. I stay single now because I’m afraid to fall inlove again.

    4. JB, sorry to read of your bad experience, and that is always a possibility to happen if you make an unlucky or bad choice of woman. There are many decent and good women who will give you wonderful experience, but there will always be some that can give you the heartbreak and pain instead. Don’t give up, take your time, be cautious and better luck next time.

    5. this is the video Mike Masters is referring to… “Hard Truth: The Boots on the Ground Rule”.

  10. I am truly thankful for your ability to step back and analyze situations it’s a gift you have that we all benefit from. Thank you for your wisdom Reekay

    1. When u are in the BACOLOD AREA N or plan to be let me n my fiancee know so we can do lunch or dinner

  11. Yes! For me , Age is just a number. My late husband and I married when i was 17 . We have 20 years age gap . We’ve been married for 30 years and i sure if it’s not for the cancer that killed him we are still together today.

    1. cancer
      the problem is we accept
      the problem is we listen to doctor too much
      remember Jesus
      cancer is no more

    2. What a great comment on your love with your late husband. I am sincerely sorry for your los. I’m sure you’ll see him again in the next life though.

    1. i’ve dated about 7 vietnamese women, and had a 3-month relationship with one. i covered some of this in previous Update videos. (see the Playlist tab at my main channel, ).

      but yes, filipinas and viet-women are VERY different in who they prefer dating and why. the cultures are very, very different. in short, filipinas are far more open to dating older expats than viet-women. few exceptions, but that’s the general trend.

    1. in the PH… you’d be on the same playing field for short-term fun. but as a prospective ‘provider/protector’ to a filipina’s future.. they still will lean towards the older, established men.

    2. Not sure if you were asking or telling here. But if you are asking; I would say that filipinas are not as judgmental as in women tend to be in the west, they tend not to size you up so your age and wealth are much less (maybe not at all important) to them. So 30 and poor may concern you more then them. All they seem to want is someone who will take care of them, treat them and their family good and with love & respect. Go for it!

  12. Interesting ideas about being a mentor and whether or not to have children, and also about giving it at least a year. I note that the younger Lauren Bacall said about Humphrey Bogart: “I was a complete virgin when I met him. He was my mentor, my teacher and the love of my life. I remember every word he ever said to me.”

    Thanks for sharing your logical thinking.

    1. @Guardian Angel femininity doesnt have to mean she has to be a teenager. my wife is a year older than me and very feminine.

    2. @Fu Dog Whisperer Not in the states. women’s lib went way overboard and destroyed what was left of femininity . One reason millions of men are escaping and heading for about the last place of Earth it exists. But look at many Thai women now from even ten years ago. They are copying the arrogance of their white sisters.

    3. It would me nice to meet a women who is willing to be mentored. Not sure they exist anymore here in the US.

  13. I totally understand that especially in younger women/older men relationships, the woman is looking for financial security as one aspect. When it comes to Filipinas, can anyone out there relate any experiences as to what their jobs were when they met their girlfriend/wife? Not all of us make six figure incomes at high tech jobs. I want to hear more about ordinary and older guys, not the richest around, but still had a successful relationship with younger Filipina women.

    1. @Mike LaVelle Wow thank you Mike for the information. I can definitely do twice a year three weeks. I hope to find someone in that time and go from there.

  14. OMG… Your like my conscious”. Shxt, I know this stuff already bro. You on point kuya bro.

  15. TRUST means everything to me & having the life experiences. At 63 more & more my desired age rises. There’s a difference between a woman & a girl. The young giggly chicks w/there face stuck in there cell phone just aren’t my forte. Yes the young girls here in the Phils are much more mature but I still don’t feel that they have enough experience & really know what they want yet to fully trust them. Independent women 40+ w/older kids,strong family & success in there own business interest me more. I always like to be on the same page as her & have peace of mind.

  16. I’ve never met a 20 yo that didn’t know how to use the internet.

    I’m not having a go – I think the video is good.

  17. Reekay makes a great point about the nurturing and mentoring that should be happening in older men/younger Filipina relationships. As an older guy, you should be looking to make life better for your younger partner, not stifle her or make her a virtual prisoner. You should definitely not be like the guy he describes who didn’t want his young wife to learn English, didn’t want her making friends outside, didn’t want her to do anything but be holed up and ‘serve’ him. This is not a relationship, this is sickness caused by an older man’s insecurities. And it probably happens a lot in these types of relationships.
    Years ago on instinct alone I felt that if I were to be with a much younger woman, then it is my responsibility to develop her life and career so that she becomes a better person overall. If it means helping to put her through nursing school, or whatever other goals and dreams she has as a Filipina, then so be it.

  18. Reekay, even thought you are evidently not averse to marrying again if you meet the right woman, you’ve had quite a few (largely) short-term relationships over the past 6-7 years. If a new female acquaintance were to learn this, I’d guess she’d conclude you aren’t marriage minded-even if you didn’t say so explicitly. What do you say to a new date about your intentions and how forthcoming are you about your extended period of bachelorhood?

    What proportion of Filipinas do you think would not be interested in dating a older man disinterested in either marriage or having kids?

    1. what you are describing is how a western woman might analyze a man’t intentions. i have dated a lot of filipinas and not once has one of them ever questioned, “why are you still single?” they work with the situation, ‘Today’. it’s one of many endearing things about filipinas.

      on another, related note… i know expats who honestly told the filipina they’ve been with for years at the very beginning that they clearly have NO intention of ever getting married… and some filipinas are totally okay with that. sometimes for years. other times, they move on. each filipina woman is different. but many will engage in a relationship KNOWING there will be no marriage in the future. happens all the time.

  19. How does one find intelligent deep conversation with these women. Friendliest, warmest, best smiles.. how to find great English speaking and intellectual depth. I don’t know. Translation devices made in Japan, and meeting people to date from Universities or powerful companies? Silly question but if one wants to hang out and do simple things and laugh, ok. But real depth and progressing together and discussing ideas.. I haven’t found it YET. No offense, I love the Philippines and am new here so don’t flame me.

    1. if there is a language barrier… any conversation beyond the immediate is nearly impossible. trying to talk about concepts on a limited mutual vocabulary will result in a lot of confusion, possibly even bad misunderstandings.

      if there is an age-gap, as i mentioned, that can be fixed by the older man cultivating the younger woman’s knowledge-base as something they do together.

  20. When it comes time to liisten to someone overseas you are my num. 1 xpat, can you tell us how to protect our assest back in the states when you married some one overseas, but i will wait longer that a year to get married .

    1. Hey Edwin – I recommend studying the immigration documents that outline your legal responsibility for support when bringing a foreign girl/lady into the US and marrying her. If you end up divorcing, states have different support laws concerning alimony and marital assets. Depending upon the states law concerning divorce, premarital assets may be subject to division and/or support if a divorce occurs. Basically, it’s the same as any other divorce case PLUS a higher chance of alimony so your immigrant ex-wife can end up supporting herself after she leaves you! Good luck.

  21. You give solid advice on all things related to the Philippines. You tell us to be honest, upfront and honourable to the women we’re getting to know which I totally agree with. However, how a man treats his fellow man shows what type of person he really is. I remember watching one of your videos where a guy emailed you and asked you for some advice and your response made me shake my head and lose a lot of respect for you as a person. He (the guy who lived in the Philippines) asked you something along the lines of, how his mate who lives in another country was talking to a filipina online for quite a while and wanted him to meet up with her for a coffee to see if she really was a great girl in person. He then met her and hit it off so well that he wanted to do the biggest dog act blokes do to each other (see it all the time in the west from thirsty men who knife their mates in the back for a girl). But before he went along with his immoral and deceptive act he emailed you and asked for your advice and you told him something along the lines of “go for it, who knows if your mate is even going to ever come to the Philippines and meet her”

    If he asked me (an honourable person) I would’ve told him after meeting her “she’s a great girl, so make sure you organise a trip real soon to meet and get to know her in person because girls like her are rare gems so don’t take her for granted, or string her along without any planned date to hop on a plane meet in person.” If in time it didn’t work out between them, for any reason I might consider getting to know her and see where it led. I’ve seen lifelong friendships end over women far too many times because of thirsty simps who would gladly throw their mates and fellow men under the bus for a woman. Endless stories of men bashing or killing other men for some trashy woman. Most of the fights I’ve seen in clubs have been over women. If I know a woman I’m attracted to is even in the slightest bit interested in one of my friends and have the power to manipulate the situation to my favour and win her over I would never do that because of the person I am. Plenty of women out there for everyone.

    I heard all the reasons you gave to justify your decision to tell him to “go for it” in pursuing a relationship with her, the biggest being that many guys string these women along for months/years with no intention of ever coming to the Philippines to meet them in person. I know that happens often, however, you didn’t know what that guys intentions were and gave advice that reflected your character and what you would do to a “friend” of yours in the same situation. I just don’t get it. So many balanced, level-headed, intelligent men in the world but when it comes to women they lose their minds and all the rules go out the window.

    I know you’re going to block me and delete this when you read it and that’s fine. I still enjoy your videos because of all your knowledge on the Philippines. I give credit where it’s due and and criticism where it’s due. Your other weakness (I know because I have the same problem) is you overanalyse everything, where your fears and insecurities win out and you always manage to talk yourself out of good relationships and regret it once time passes. This doesn’t make you a bad person just a problem that causes distress and problems in life. You did just that with that young girl you made that video about recently and said how much you regretted the decision you made to break it off. I’m sorry it didn’t work. I’m sure you had something special and you both seemed happy together, but just look forward to new possibilities and don’t make the same mistakes. I’ll still watch your videos even after you block me because as I said earlier your knowledge of the Philippines is second to none. My closest friend told me “the reason I trust and respect you is because you call me out on the shit I do…..other mates just tell me what I want to hear and talk shit behind my back.” Unfortunately self-righteous people usually just spit venom at you if you tell them the truth or turn their backs and walk away. They’ll say things like “I don’t need toxic, negative, cynical friends in my life so I piss them off” (you made a video of that recently). It’s always other people’s fault. I did respect when you said “you made a mistake with your ex and now regret it” and didn’t blame or criticise her. So I’ve gotta give you props for that. Just treat your fellow man better, even if you have nothing to gain from him. That’s where you see a person’s true character. Good luck and wish you well.

    1. i’ll only repeat it once, as a reply to you, that a woman owes NOTHING to a man she’s never met. and does not need to keep her life on hold for such a man who may never show up.

      you disagree. that’s fine. if you are ever in that situation and fall in love with a woman.. feel free to follow your own advice and risk losing her. for you, that makes sense, so do it that way and be content with that.

      as for your opinion that i, “over-analyze” things, more people suffer bad outcomes because they did not thing ENOUGH. lack of forethought is rampant. lack of critical thinking skills when it’s needed most… in an emotional situation. i’ll never apologize for giving a situation the depth of thought it requires.

      but if throwing caution to the wind and just following your first ‘feelings’ on the matter seems like a better course to take, then (again).. do so in your life and i wish you good luck with that.

  22. great subject again reekay, i would agree that an older expat can enhance a relationship with wisdom and experience however i have observed many expats to be far to controlling with there wives or girlfriends, almost a kind of bullying in some cases, thanks for your consistent output, regards joe, btw i finaly subbed to you today after watching for several years!

    1. It is because most of them are insecure and dread the thought of them going with younger fresher guys.

  23. Im watching your vlogs and ive noticed that you cant be contented in just one or stay in a long term relationship,its not a good impression for us women if a man is having a relationship from one woman to another.Just saying☺

    1. @Janet Agor Would you not agree that the best possible way to find a future marrying partner is to experience multiple dating relationships
      (Not necessarily sexual @ first) over time to see if there’s compatibility exist or is it just “Fun and Games”? To research their career goals, if children are in the near future, if there’s a work ethic and good character.
      As an Black American man, I can see why you would have your concerns..
      I’m sure you would agree that dating women for trophies and bragging rights are totally different then searching for a Soulmate, a Friend, a Lover, a faithful caring Wife for Life….BUTTTTT! I Love Your Passion!

      P.S. Would like to know your thoughts on May-December Romances…

    2. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea yes i do agree when you said that smart people have the patience to wait and know what they really want in life,but i didnt say that marrying is not a proof that a person is a marriage material,what i mean is staying in a long term relationship does create a good impression because it shows patience and true love to ones partner..or maybe we just have different culture thats why we have clashing ideas .Im sorry if I sound sarcastic..but im just saying what i feel..sorry if i get u offended😔

    3. i have met (so many) filipinas who are in their late 20’s, 30’s who are still not married. should i assume they are not serious about marriage also? should i assume that every single mother without a husband is a bad person?

      i think you know that answer to that is, ‘no’. i don’t need to ‘prove’ i am marriage-material by getting married. that is silly. smart people have the patience to seek and wait for what they really want in life.

  24. I’ve decided that, being a few years older than you Reekay, I’m not even going to bother with a 20-something. Maybe a casual dinner date, but that’s it. Nothing serious.

    I’ve been looking around, and my “sweet spot” so far has been mid-30’s to early 40’s. Still young, but with some maturity (hopefully), life experience, and older children. I’ll bet that there’s still plenty of nice arm candy in that age range.

    1. yes, younger women are not for everyone. or older women, for that matter. we have to understand and answer this question, “am i a better or happier person when i’m with this woman?” for every man, the woman who can make him answer with, ‘yes’ is different.

  25. I’ve also heard you say in other videos wait for a year or more before you marry. While this timeline may be realistic and even preferable. Keep in mind there different considerations for foreigners say here in USA Vs dating while there in the Philippines. Many guys meet online and chat for 2-3 months before going to see and meet them in person. Even if you decide to propose on the spot when they first meet, by the time they complete the immigration paperwork and get approved for the visa for her to come it’s another 8-12 months, then once here in the USA they have another 3 months (90 short days) to actually marry and get to stay. So with this in mind, YES I think if you feel in your heart you met the Filipina that feels right TELL HER and do not string her along, make that move, take a chance– but know it will still be another 8-12 months before you sign that dotted line with visa and approvals. I’ve seen several friends blow it and loose great women because they waited too long.

    1. Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea I two couples that meet online, a first in person meeting a few months later with an engagement in PHL on a 2 week vacation. Then return and wait out the K1 Visa process to bring their girl back to USA and marriage plus a baby. Both couples are together to this day. I’ve also met 1 girl in PHL that went to USA on a K1 but returned to PHL because it didn’t work.
      I believe everyone’s situation is different and no 2 couples are the same.

    2. yes.. trying to find and build a relationship with added time and distance involved is not the ideal situation. but it’s a more common situation than those who can move long-term to another country. and it comes with added risk. but, we do the best we can with the situation we’re face with.

  26. As you know, I’ve been in a committed relationship with my younger Filipina who you’ve met. She and I both watched this video together and it reinforced a lot of the things her and I have been discussing. Even though conventional relationships usually are a two-way street, she has grown to appreciate my wealth of knowledge and experience and defers to it a majority of the time. A lot of that is just being a Filipina, but she also trusts my judgment. For my part, I just need to be honest and sincere and have her best interests at heart. We have not only talked about short term goals, but long term goals as well, as far as 20 years out. I’ll be getting close to my expiration date, but hopefully she’ll be able to have a long and prosperous life after I’m gone. I want that to be my legacy; helping her and her kids fulfill their dreams as well.

    1. Thanks for sharing that insight!
      I’m just about to embark on my journey. I’m in the Due Diligence phase 🤓

    2. I might add you have to trust her judgement on issue as well we all want the best for are younger wives and hope it not about only the money but real love she show you.

  27. When you’re with a much younger filipina, you’ve to be her mentor. You’ve to guide her. Teach her. Support her dreams. Help her to become matured. Protect her.

    If you keep her down and uneducated, then you don’t need a girlfriend or wife; in fact you just need a submissive ‘toy’. But a human being is never a ‘toy’.

  28. Everything you talked about is so true. Having a 37 year age gap makes me a teacher. The part you need to touch on is when your family comes to visit you in the Philippines and they meet your wife or girlfriend. You watch their jaws drop to the floor. Some people just don’t understand age difference and think your Chester the Molester.

    1. lol its not that they dont understand it, it is that they know what it happens. It happens almost exclusively due to poverty and they probably think 2 things: that you are either an exploiter or very naive, and that she is a victim or a gold digger. Thats not to say the relationships cant work though. My asian wife says in a situation like that, there is little to no sexual attraction on the part of the female but they are brought up to sacrifice for the greater good

    2. Chester the Molester…that’s funny. .. I was thinking about Chester in Gunsmoke

  29. Thank you for attempting to tackle this topic. It can be complicated and controversial for many people for many reasons. So it’s not easy to fully understand or explore, especially when you are dealing with so many variables. There are many examples of happy couples and nightmare stories out there in regards to this. I think that honest self awareness and honest communication certainly helps to reduce the number of negative experiences to some degree. Now this is just my personal opinion but I believe that the best results I have seen in solid lasting marriages have been with ladies from the Philippines overall, including age gap relationships.

  30. Sorry,, I have to comment…why r u living in Vietnam but still doing vlogs on Philippines….I’m curious why u left Philippines and over to Vietnam, seems like ur heart is still in the Philippines????

    1. i left the ph because i was curious about vietnam. and i have done over 90 videos about vietnam. as for touching on subjects specific to the ph, why not? there is no rule or law somewhere that says i am limited by geography. i spent 6 full years in the ph and still have things to share on the country.

      think and live outside the box.

  31. After an eight-year relationship, the first six long-distance with yearly trips, and making it clear from the beginning that fatherhood was not feasible for me and her agreeing, out of the blue came the confession that she harbored hopes that I would change my mind and she wanted a baby. Four days later, I landed in Thailand.

  32. Totally agree Reekay, I knew my wife 2 to 3 yrs. before we got married, First thing I taught her when she came here was about money, how to drive, how to handle herself in public( made it a lot easier on me) we have had a great 13 yrs. so far by the way I am 74 and se is 37 now! you always need to really understand the wants and needs of the other to make a relationship work Good Luck henry

  33. Hi Reekay, this topic is seriously hot off the press… being 47 I want kids… soo this topic is interesting to say the least…
    Sounds like your addressing those that dont want kids which is fine in itself, but, perhaps there should be a side of the content dedicated to: yes I want kids, heres how to go forward there…

    IF you covered this already PLEASE send me a link… I wanna watch this… if not Can you address this please?

    All I want is to find the one girl that I can settle down with and have a family with… Thats ALL I want…

    1. what is there to know? its the same thing, you just shouldnt go over 35 yrs of age if you want more than 1 kid

    2. i actually just did a Facetime with a man who is seeking to have kids. i will soon share some of the things we discussed and how it relates to expats seeking a wife and family.

  34. Another good video with important information for people to consider if there looking at have a relationship with someone much younger. I’m in one of those relationship you are talking about I’m in my sixies and my wife is in her twenties we will be married three years Nov 16 but what you said was so true if you really love the person you have to let and help them grow and be there own person and you can’t let your insecurities stop that from happening if you really love and care for that person whether your relationship last 3 years or thirty years you know you did what’s right for the both of you.. but like any relationship you need to be careful and take time who you choose to have a relationship with

  35. Reekay…what would you say is the percentage of filipina would be content…with a long term,committed relationship….that has no marriage in the foreseeable future…hell I can get engaged if she wishes, have a family if she wishes, treat her and respect her just like a wife…..but nothing legally binding….lol

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea guess I’ll see in a few months, when I make my move….as far as marriage goes, I’m already the black sheep child in my catholic family. I’ve divorced, so apparently I’m already , I assume 5-10 years, I will set myself up to a potential twice damnation…lol but hey…it will atleast be one hell of a ride…lol

    2. my best guess would be around 15% would be willing to live together ‘as a wife’ but not married. i believe what they want deep-down is that commitment from the man they love. but if he is not offering that, they ‘make do’ with the situation.

      call me old-fashioned, but while getting married in the usa is a HUGE risk… i still believe getting married to a filipina in the PH is the right thing to do if a man says he’s committed to the relationship. (after taking at least a year to know her first, of course.) the risk is so much lower in the ph compared to the west. i see no need to keep the back-door half-open in the ph if a man is sincere about his commitment to her.

  36. Great video! I agree with you. if we choose to date a younger woman we must teach and develop her to take care of herself. Were not going to be around forever.

  37. Yap,I agre, Age is just a number,I married to my man now for 12 years,Im 18 years younger than him,I meet him through a friend Im 28 years old at that time.My love for him is still the same.He such a good and loving husband and now we have 1 son.

    1. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s awesome to hear sincere real life stories like yours.
      Wish you and your husband all the best in your walk through life together.

  38. Great vid! I’m leaning towards more of Filipinas in their mid to late twenties as I don’t have children and would like to start a family of my own. I’m in my forties and it makes no difference to me.

  39. I understand ‘The gross injustice” you’re talking about but unfortunately, there’s “the human factor.” Give someone too many opportunities and that person may leave you. Had the Middle Eastern young woman learned to drive and become financially independent she may have divorced her husband and later found a new one (a younger husband).
    Not trying to be controlling but gotta keep your walls up too. There’s a fine line there. Fresno, CA.

    Thanks for all these videos. I visited phillippines in 2016 and wanna say you give nice advice.

    1. this is where a man’s confidence is tested. is he a man his wife loves and desires.. or is he failing her in some way that she’d be easily tempted by another? hard stuff to look at for some, so they resort to chaining her in, handicapping her growth.

      my mom’s advice to me on this was, “if a woman wants to leave, let her.” ha! 🙂

  40. Good point on mentoring her, a younger Filipina should believe her husband has wisdom to share.

  41. Yes 100%. I think also that you have mentioned that if an older man has a family with a young woman that it is incumbent upon him to consider what’s his families life will be when he’s gone. SSI that’s stopping if the wife hasn’t lived in the US for 10 years. How do they live. Do they have a home that’s Paid for? Do they have a reasonable business income of some sort. Do you have life insurance or a pension that will help them.
    Don’t leave a desperate situation behind you just because you wanted someone to make you happy in the last years of your life. Commitment and responsibility go hand and hand with love and family.

    1. 100% correct! There are thousands of abandoned 1/2 white kids over there. Another thing to consider is your ex wife and grown kids in the west. How will this affect their inheritance?

  42. It is good that the author explores the knowledge gap in relationships with large age differences. His observations are without doubt, true. The older man SHOULD see that his girlfriend/wife grows fiscally, intellectually and socially.

    Being in different stages of life, the couple will have different wants, needs and expectations. When she , a 22-year-old, wants to party or go out clubbing until midnight each weekend, will 55-year-old man be up for that? If he wants to sit and watch a beautiful sunset, will she be satisfied? When attractive guys her age smile, will she resent being with someone older than her father? Lots to consider.

    1. @Damien Dolomite She will take care of him if she a good one she will clean his ass if necessary

    2. @Stewart McJinnon The question is what if she’s not a ‘girl’ anymore? Fully capable women can be faithful and loyal to those whom they love and respect, but not every hot young thing will turn out that way. You need to mentor well and choose wisely.

  43. Reekay… Uda best. I’m wondering where in SE Asia to start a very long vacation and I’m liking your vids. You hit points I haven’t taken into consideration. Appreciated.
    U got a new sub.

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea Seeing your past posts, Im already going with Hanoi first for a year aka whatever visa … Thanks. Would love some advice when I arrive in June next year. Will hit you up then. Keep it up dude.

    2. glad to have you on-board. 🙂 i would suggest a few weeks in saigon and then check out the PH either at bohol, palawan, dumaguete to start. so much to see.

  44. You have great insight on this subject and you have learned alot on how the filipina women are and i have learned from you . I also have experienced it myself from either going there to phils, 3 trips in 4 years and also a past gf and as well online dating,,,,,,,,, All these characteristics about dating and how they are , they are very true although they dont admit it. But i have my own set of experiences with them …. Peace Hermano

  45. You are right ,Reekay,I’m having relationship with a girl ,and I’m the teacher and she is learning very ,very slowly ,as you said,need lot of patience and tolerance,at times it’s really hard ,but if you are in love with that person ,hey!Why not?

  46. a teaching relationship is not a good basis for a trusting loving relationship between equals

    1. Equals?
      Whats equal?
      Equal means the same, there are no two people “the same” on this planet, even identical twins have a 44% variance not including differing life experiences etc

    2. i disagree, 100%. and i’m speaking from experience. the BEST relationships i’ve had involved seeing a woman flourish.

      but since you see it otherwise, i recommend you do not date a younger woman. date older women or women your age and you will likely be happier with that.

  47. If a guy is jealous, and controlling, she will leave for sure. No one wants to live like that. If a guy treats the girl good, non controlling, and with respect she will really love the guy I feel. Unless she is a scammer. In that case just move on.

    1. i did this with my gropro hero3/silver on an iSteady Pro gimbal.

  48. The “Bucking” Horse
    Hi Relay, very good points when dating a young filipina, though not sure if it would have personally saved mine, voiding the details, in my quest to be her mentor, she was unwilling to be flexible, compromise, reconcile our disagreement. I would note that in being the “teacher” in a relationship the “student” must be willing to learn and trust the teacher. Its frustrating trying to “tame” a “wild” horse that constantly “bucks” in anger, but hopefully that was only this case, and a learning experience for us both.

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea Thank you, good advice, time to know a person is very important if wanting a successful relationship.

    2. yes, this is why the first-90 days are so important. if a younger woman is still immature and shows no interest in bettering herself.. better to end it and find someone with a mind to become more responsible.

      so many of these younger women are still in ‘party-girl’ mode. wanting to be with their younger friends at the clubs and drinking too much. best to just let them wander off and do their own thing while you find someone better.

  49. My recommendation is to quietly relocate under that scenario…The Hollywood icons mentioned were serial womanizers..

  50. But i guess its ok for a certain YT mental case and his cult members to be chasing tail in the bars and online but are critical of anyone dating younger women. Since they have to pay for it direct they are calling anyone else pedophiles. If i remember correct as long as the woman is of legal age they can,t bitch just make up stories. Oddly some of his followers have criminal records for playing with underage kids. Funny how much older women date much younger guys and hardly anyone says anything. Does it work both ways?

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea Nothing more than YT bullies with arguments so lame they just come across as just that bullies looking to just pick a fight. I have no argument with a difference in opinion but it is so obvious with these guys they just want to harass and pick a fight nothing more. Maybe if they focused their attention on their own channels and stopped going out of their way going from channel to channel trying to stir up crap and making up lies about others on their own channels maybe they might get somewhere. I say get a life dudes.

    2. such idiots don’t even know the proper definition of the word. and their angst is simply the fact that they know they are no prize. i’ve dated in vietnam since i got here. had a 3-month relationship with a vietnamese woman which i shared a bit in at least a dozen videos. meanwhile… these trolls have yet to show they have the social skills to get even a coffee date in vietnam.

      it’s just whining and sour-grapes from a small gaggle of social losers, nothing new. subtract the complaining from their videos and they have nothing left to offer.

  51. You always seem to choose relevant and really useful topics Reekay, and this is yet another one. Your philosophy of helping a younger Filipina to ‘grow’ in life and experience is a thoughtful and caring one, and I admire you for that. In my experience, they are eager to learn about new things, and learn about their man, so that they can learn what makes him happy. I enjoy introducing them to new things and experiences, and seeing the enjoyment that they get from that. It’s great to start from what is almost a blank canvass, and see what develops. Always enjoy and learn from your videos, so thanks for sharing your knowledge and experiences.

  52. Mine has expiration date haha. I never read on his profile that he just want a 6 months relationship

  53. Things can be different if you lie in the US and want to bring your fiancee to the US. First if you get the visa to do that you have to get married and file paperwork within 90 days of entering the US. That does not really allow enough time to really get to know her if you have not lived in the Philippines with her. It is good to have the talk about if you want to have kids yes she may change her mind. There are two things to consider. One a friend of mine in California was married to an American not Philippine. That women had an affair and got pregnant. The court said that since he was married to her he was responsible to support and bring up the kid. Obviously there was a lot of resentment with that. Another friend of mine lived in Hawaii and met a Philippine through the mail before internet. I visited when early on in their relationship. They were happy together and had a baby. I visited him years later. His wife left him for another man. He was in his mid seventies raising his teenage son by himself and of course working to support him. Just because someone may want a child does not mean that they are capable of supporting it.

    1. good point. in the PH, the common mindset is to have a baby is a, ‘blessing’. even if there is no plan on how to support it, or the burden it creates on a poor family.. it’s still considered a blessing. so all the much more, having kids while connected to an expat.. many filipinas won’t think twice about getting pregnant with zero thought to the future.

      i know an otherwise wonderful filipina who was abandoned by her expat b/f once she became pregnant. (because… that’s what happens when people have sex without birth control.) she had the baby, got her body back in shape afterward with exercise, looking great. and a single mom.

      she then met a different expat and (wait for it)… got pregnant, again. and again, the expat left her holding all the responsibility.

      what the two expats did was rotten. but she also is to blame. so, us men need to put the brakes on this whole baby-making business because the filipina isn’t usually going to think about that.

  54. hi,
    for me its ok to start a relationship with a young woman when you are older. its ok
    but, i can not accept if the man expect from a 20/25yo woman, to decide to don’t have baby. thats a crime to put a pressure to a person that don’t jnow yet what is important in her life
    i think that even for a 25/30yo person, its not possible to decide such a important thing

  55. Sometimes K1 pre wife relationships have to be short term. Not every expat can take a year off of work for example to date.

    1. yes. not everyone can relocate to the ph full-time. however, it’s a big roll of the dice to marry someone they’ve only spent a few weeks with in-person. and there’s a lot at stake, for the man.

  56. How would you advise an American that is wealthy. Does it change? Have you ever done a video on that topic?

    1. i’ve done many Facetime consults with men of wealth. the same rules apply. make decisions slowly. get to know the woman. don’t throw money at her.

  57. don’t get one online they talk to multiple guys and want you to be exclusive to them only my long time gf is now coming to the states with another man they all arent faithful

  58. Reekay, how is your lady friend in Davao? Is she ok after the recent earthquakes there? I was in Gensan this past week when those 2 hit about 48 hours apart from each other. Lots of injuries, damage and some fatalities were reported. That was a first for me.

    1. yes, we speak several times every day so she’s been keeping me informed on the status there. she and her family are fine.

      the condo units at Eccoland did not do well with the quakes. other condos held up fine.

  59. Is a 21 year old Filipina really an adult? I think physically yes, but emotionally not so much.

    1. it depends on how you define an ‘adult’. or how the law defines an adult. or if someone arbitrarily decides they are not ‘adults’ until they are over 35… should then a law be passed that no filipina can marry until over 35?

      huge slippery slope. especially since some women are emotionally mature at 20, while other women are still immature at age 45.

      if a particular man thinks a particular adult woman (over age 18) is not mature enough for his definition, then he should not seek a relationship with her.

  60. My wife and I have a 15 year age difference and its never been a problem. We have been married for 4 years now. We married when she was 30 and I was 45. I think our age difference is perfect and so does she.

  61. It’s funny that you put this video up. I’ve long been thinking about moving to the Philippines and watch a lot of channels regarding travel and relationships there. I was disturbed when an expat on another channel met a beautiful and incredibly sweet Filipina who can’t be more than 19 or 20 and is already pregnant by him after a relatively short amount of time. It bothers me I guess because it seems like there’s already enough unwed mothers in the Philippines without expats adding to the problem. What happens if they aren’t together in 6 months?

    I was also bothered that instead of helping her with her education, helping her grow as a person or to to find a real path for her life, he helped her become pregnant. Yes, it takes two to tango, but I think with his age and worldly knowledge, he would have a better understanding of the responsibility she has been saddled with so early in her life. It just felt very exploitative to me. Maybe they will get married and things will work out just fine, but I don’t think he helped her explore her potential and mature enough to decide what she truly wants in life before having certain doors closed when she’s so young. I guess only time will tell.

    1. irresponsible guys who don’t even wear condoms should be shot to death. They make most of us responsible westerners look bad. Discusting when I think of these old creeps.

    2. a guy who gets a woman pregnant and then dumps her with no financial support.., that is a loser-move no matter if the woman is younger or older. the real issue is being Responsible about making babies. not the age-gap.

  62. If I got involved with a pretty young Filipina three things may happen. First I would have a hardon attack then a heart attack and if I was still alive my 60 year old Filipine wife would finish me off end of story. I think I have a better wife then all the men I know. Men I know or just met us will ask how did you end up with such a nice wife. Or I do not mean to make you angry but you not only have a beautiful wife but such a good cook she makes everything taste good. I say I an’t mad I have asked my self that question most days. And The best part she still loves me. Her friends tell me she does not even flirt with other men. Other men try to flirt but then she will avoid them. One thing I know she does not trust men but her mother told her to date me as she thought I was a good man. i could see that she had the respect of her friends. Long story…

  63. I suggest learning the language pretty well so you understand what is being said about you. The bad ones plan with others right in front of you.

  64. Another great video and consistent to your channel. I definitely agree that filipina’s are more mature than California girls in their early 20’s.
    As for kids, I also agree that if you establish a relationship and planning a future relationship of without kids, like you said, it’s tough to predict what your girl will think. But spending a year of reality and sharing your life,and for me, a busy career ,and making it well established that kids would not be compatible.
    I put it this way, if I had a child now I would be ready to retire when my child would be entering college.
    Good points, sharing and nurturing your beautiful young filipina is just the right thing to do. You can help your girl learn to be savvy at common things we need to know to build a better future.

  65. Age is a real number, it’s a fact.Life expectancy for men in USA is 79 years old, in Philippines it’s 69. So as you pass wisdom to your young filipina gf or wife, keep reality in mind. If you’re planning long term, know what type of life a 75 y/o has compared the person that will be living with him.

  66. I love all your videos. It feels like a dad giving GREAT advice to their son but its something dads dont talk about to their songs in real life. This is great. thank you

  67. Kudos to you for the quality subject and production. I really enjoy your video work and to you I say “maraming salamat sa inyo”. Be safe

  68. There are a lot of people who prejudge everything about Thailand, Vietnam, and the Philippines. You are right.

  69. my girl will be a US citizen next month. We’ve been together almost 5 years now. She’s 32 soon, I’m 67. Everything is fine so far. We’ll be bringing her daughter here next year. My wife is having a much harder time getting her nursing license than she thought, but she is progressing.

    1. The biggest test will be once she becomes a citizen and has equal rights she maybe tempted to go out and have fun more often as it’s just natural for someone that young to do.

  70. My wife drives well, knows how to get hired, is very computer literate, shoots a rifle or pistol fairly well, learned the basics of karate, has her CCW gun permit. She knows about insurance, where to go for car-repair, who to ask for advice about this or that. She’ll get half of my VA and SS pension. and once her daughter is with us, a small life insurance policy on me.

  71. get one with ONE kid, age 3-6, get a vasectomy and dont tell her that you’re sterile. She’s got a kid, and that’s all anyone needs, A replacement

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea gotcha. Yeah Ive been a sub since 2015 before I moved here to AC in 2016. You were my go to for info on cultural insight prior to the move. So, many thanks for all that. Hope youre doing well and that you get to the point where you have no regrets soon.

    2. i will be going back and forth between the two. spending some time in the PH during 2020 and then returning to vietnam. i’ve been in saigon since january of 2019 until now. (november, 2019)

  72. Yes, sometimes it’s the insecurities of the guy that makes them not want to develop or empower their partner, but in some cases it’s because their partner is just not a “keeper” and genuinely untrustworthy and would use their new found wisdom or knowledge to the detriment of the relationship. In this case the guy may just want to milk it for as long as they can knowing deep down she will probably not stick around. Not a good situation either way though.

  73. Very wise words.
    But you are assuming you are talking to people who are as self aware and as wise as you.
    Keep in mind there are very few people on this planet who have the ability to think for themselves like you.
    Most guys have nothing to offer any girl regardless of age when it comes to mentoring.
    These mindless zombies are only looking to satisfy themselves and they could care less that they are stealing the golden years of these girls.
    Hopefully they hook up with a gold digger who is as mutually blind and narcissistic as they are.
    Keep up the good work. I’m sure that those who have eyes that can see and ears that can hear will receive your message.

  74. If you truly don’t want kids go get a vasectomy and tell her that you’ve had it and that it’s not possible to have kids. If she still wants you then all is good.

  75. I like your videos for the most part and I could really care less what someone’s preference in age is if they fall in love with someone, but one thing bothers me. It almost seems like a daddy daughter relationship in a way. I’m not trying to make it seem like you are a dirty old man but hear me out. I taught my daughters how to do some of the things you were talking about. Balancing checkbooks and booking flights, etc… we teach our kids things to give them skills that will guide them through life. I understand that any loving relationship will include that in it but the way you made it sound was that almost all the teaching was being done by the older man. That would drive me crazy. I married my wife because she is my best friend and we will grow TOGETHER as a team. Not because I want someone to depend on me for my vast knowledge of the world. I am her teacher and her student. We have a 50/50 relationship in every way. If someone wants to date someone 20 years old and they are 55 or 60 that is their business. It may work for them. I know many piñays that are very mature for their age, as you mentioned, however, I know many that are not. It is the predators that get under my skin. Sometimes it’s hard to look past that. I guess it’s just the world we live in these days. No one knows a persons motives but as a dad I would keep a close eye on any old guy trying to date one of my girls.

    1. as i mentioned in the beginning, there are many types/templates of relationships. the 50/50 model is what we’ve been most accustomed to in the west. and that’s fine.

      i too am very much against the predatory, abusive stance taken by any expat with a younger woman. in short, they should both have a better life together, not just him getting what he wants. which is why i made this video. to bring out that if a man can’t or won’t provide and protect the woman he claims he loves, then he really should not be looking for an extended relationship, whether to a younger or same-age woman.

  76. I have a 24 yr. old g.f. and I’m 70. I was and still am an athlete in better shape and physical ability than probably 95% of Filipino or American guys in their 20s or 30s. Good genetics and I’ve never been out of shape in my life. Now how can I date even a typical 40 yr. old woman who is physically already out of shape and physically old? Not to mention 50-60 yr. old women? Then there is the issue of how young one’s mind is. Most men and women are mentally old by the time they are 40 as well. I guess I have youth genes because I matured extremely late. I feel pretty much like I did when I was 30 except experience has made me smarter….I’m sure I’m not the only freak out there, but it is uncommon at the level I’m being truthful about here…

    1. Same here. It isn’t even difficult to be in better shape than a teenager. Play music, quote classics, pull from an infinite variety of trades and skills… Younger men are no competition whatsoever. It’s been hero worship for me for so many decades I just don’t know what it is like for normal people. Why they are so lazy, under confident, and unskilled. They sit in front of the television for one thing. I don’t even own one. There’s five hours a day of skill acquisition and accumulating experience these losers forego right there.

    2. You sound like my twin. I’m 68 with a 20 yr old gf. I’m beating guys in their 20’s in full on jiu jitsu matches. To be honest, I can’t see myself dating a woman in her 30’s, much less 40’s.

  77. I get what your saying. But the attitude that all 40 and 50 year old American men are MATURE in their thinking is crazy (in fact a lot of them are not). And, to think that all 20 something Filipinas wants a Father type who thinks he has all the life knowledge is also crazy. There are a lot of women who do not want that at all. In fact there are plenty who will resent you if you try it.

    1. i never said ‘all’ men over 40 are mature. never said that.

      and i also never said that ‘all’ filipinas want someone they can learn from. some young filipinas are flippant bar-girls still in party mode.

      do more listening/thinking… less assuming.

  78. My first pinay wife was a year younger than me.My second wife 14 years younger.Now my fiance is 24 years younger than me.

    1. When men get older they tend to look more and more like Sean Connery. The trouble is, when women get older they tend to look like Sean Connery too. So as you get older you must do more and more to compensate.

  79. Great video once again, thank you Reekay. One guaranteed way I can think of to have a much younger partner who will not have kids is a ladyboy – for those who may find them interesting. – probably not have to deal with the PMS women tend to have too 🙂

    1. some of the expats i’ve met over the years go that route. fine with me, leaves more filipinas for the rest of us. 🙂

  80. This is not relevant to this video, but I just ordered a “new” type of translator. It is supposed to translate about 20 major languages including Philippine and Vietnamese. I will receive it in a week or so and I will let you know how well it works.

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea I think that it only does Tagalog but it is supposed to do Vietnamese. It is $85. I do not have it yet, but will write when I try with my Mexianc speaking daughter in law as to accruacy and ease of use. G

    2. yes, let us know how functional that is. usually google-translate has a tough time tranlating ‘filipino’. aside from tagalog and visayan, there are so many other dialects in the PH.

  81. I rarely watch these sorts of videos but this video is spot on. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 years. She is nearly 25 now and I’m somewhat older …

    I’m supporting her studies to be an English teacher. She has gone from not having grade 11 or 12 to getting a scholarship and on the deans list in her 2nd year. This ticks several boxes: it is giving her a career for after I can no longer work, it is giving her better English skills, it is giving her something meaningful to do while we have to spend a lot of time apart, it is showing her and her family that I care for her, and I hope it shows that I love her.

  82. I agree with your viewpoint except some of us older men have to realize that being a mentor takes a toll. I would not expect a much younger women to have the same interests or goals. I will give up this experience because I have reached a point in my life I would not want to be bothered educating a much younger women. I have no use for a much older women so I will just pack it in and live the life I have left the best I can. I realize I have had my experiences and I enjoyed myself but its time to move on. There is just no point in pretending I can go back and relive my life as a young man. Why do this to myself??

  83. I see that a lot of the filipina woman will say that age is just a number but in the USA anyways it people see or hear that at 50 something year old man is with a mid 20s woman it is really frowned upon. I am not sure if its acceptable or not in the philippines. i have told some that I am as old as your dad. lol. It’s hard to say if they only are interested in money or just the man. I have seen though on the filipino dating sites that some younger woman will ask you soon after chatting for money for various reasons.

  84. I am in my mid 30s and even now I find girls in their early to mid 20s too young for me. I can’t imagine what it is like with an even large age gap. For me it is wayyyy too uncomfortable especially when you meet the girls friends who are her own age too.

  85. My wife is 15 years younger than me my thinking was If in older age I need a wheelchair she would be strong enough to push it but as she is a nurse and has arthritis in her knees it looks like it could be the other way around.Oh, the best plans of mice and men .lol

    1. yah, life is so uncertain. never can really hedge against the unknown. i knew a filipino who was healthy as an ox at 24 years old (brother of my then g/f). next few days he felt ill. went into the hospital and was deceased within a week from liver-failure. wasn’t ever a drinker or drugs, a good-guy in college.

  86. Charlie Chaplin was 54 when he married Una O’Neil who was 18. They were married for 36 years, had 6 kids, and after he died at 90, Una said that she would not have traded one second with Charlie for the world.

    1. D Ragland : Chaplin was also a multi multi millionaire in the 1930s… (A billionaire in today’s $ )

    2. Yes, but she was groomed, freaked out by his overrated celeb status. I know women like that: the guy can do anything because he’s publicly admired.

  87. Before you consider any of that, you have to figure out if your girl is even interested in long term. One of the main draws of a foreign man on vacation is he will get on the plane and go home. Her friends and family will never know. Women do not tell you the truth. They tell you what you want to hear.

    All successful relationships involve careful cultivation of honesty, trust and respect. And this starts right out of the gate. You respect what the woman wants. You show her you can be trusted with the truth and that she can be honest. Because most of the time, she wants a fling and then she wants you to get lost. If you don’t want that, then find the woman who wants what you want.

  88. Many times it’s the knowledge and guidance that’s worth MORE than MONEY!
    That’s WHY wise King Solomon asked God for wisdom, and NOT just money.
    Many Lottery Winners LOSE their “winnings!”

  89. Sir, could you help dispel the
    myth that the foreigner will
    never really be part of his
    Filipina spouse’s family?

    I’ve heard this so many times
    (from vloggers) and it’s simply
    not true

    “You will always come behind
    Filipina’s parents”
    A prominent vlogger just
    asserted this again yesterday

    1. i will try to add that to an upcoming video. you are correct, many expats get along fine with their in-laws and not pressured for money or placed ‘2nd’ by their filipina wife.

  90. My wife is 30 years younger we been married 20 years now because i,m 76 she is now 47 6 months ago she told me that we are now separated and she wants a divorce to find a guy for sex she is a degree nurse earning $1200 a fortnight she now has assets and cash and superannuation ,she also wants my house and my assets i feel stabbed in the back she was never like this until her friends husband left her and my wife started running around .oh well we,ll see how things go. Cheers.

  91. If she wants a baby she will screw around AND LEAVE YOU AND RIP OFF YOUR ASSETS. IF YOU LET HER.

    1. 5 years at uni then 5 years shift work nursing 40 hours a week 3pm to 11 pm will destroy your marriage its all about her holidays helping her family and only staying with her philippna groups . She will cut herself off from you.once she is earning good money.

  92. Age is just a number it doesn’t matter to talk someone and make it friends or relationship here Philippines unlike other country.

  93. Yeah not for me. I much prefer a woman with life experience say mid 30s. I wouldn’t like that they have to ask for approval in every decision they’re going to make.

  94. G’day Reekay.. I’m an Aussie getting married in Feb 2020 to my Filipino gal. She works,Has her licence and learning how to run a business.Taken care of family etc since she was able to wash clothes by hand… I find that USA guys ( Majority )don’t respect the Filipino Women and should start doing the right thing and take responsibility for the kids they leave behind or just go to Thailand,Cambodia,Vietnam. Will make the Philippines a better place..

  95. A filipina friend tried to set me up with her cousin, 19 YO, (not seriously) as I am married (filipina, 20 yr younger than me), I am on her FB page, I see her with her friends, 20 yr olds, REALLY, how does a 70 YO fit in with her life? Find a nice filipina girl, tho, you can not do better!

  96. The way u speak
    its nice
    its interesting
    its just good
    its just great
    its well mannered and cultured
    i am happy to listen to your advice

  97. You the man Rik love your videos brother. I’m 50 my Filipina is 32 from the province yet she is so special . plus I’m a 350 pound big boy she’s in shape but just on love for over a year now.

  98. I have a 22 year old daughter and I teach my daughter everything she needs to know so that NO MAN needs to teach her if she falls in love with an older man. I am her father, not him.

  99. Me and My fiance have been only friends for over 5 years, but this year we decided to get serious in our LDR anyone is free to follow us
    YouTube : Darin & Analy LDR Journey
    Instagram : Darin & Analy LDR Journey
    Facebook : Darin & Analy LDR Journey

  100. I believe all relationships are as much a financial partnership as emotional. In fact, I believe if the love disappears, the two should remain together as financial partners. While one partner may be wiser financially, I believe both need to be invested in the relationship. I do not subscribe to any relationship where only one is invested and the other is living off that investment. I believe both need to be invested. It doesn’t matter if one is more invested, it just matters that both are invested and both benefit equally from that investment.

    1. Sounds like its all about money to you.. $ can’t buy love, $ only buys time to love,,the love has to be right, take a chance,, there’s where judgment comes to play.. THERE’S YOUR RETURN ON UR INVESTMENT..

  101. Wow. First video of yours that I caught and was truly impressed. Great to see advice given with maturity and knowledge. Thank you.

  102. I like older women but it’s a lot easier to restart with some fresh young thing. Older women tend to be hardened campaigners, seen all your moves before. Too much work.

  103. i just broke up with my 30 year younger filipina in Manila via whatsapp, but not before i bought a plane ticket to the Philippines…. now i guess i can’t waste the ticket, so i will be going, but all alone … i think i’m fucked….. i’m very depressed tonight.

  104. I agree with you 100%. My dream woman, I shall teach her to fish, so I know when i die she can move on with very little issues!

  105. I’m 30 I worked in China for 4yrs.before I just got home last year May 13 and started looking online and I found my bf is from England he is 54 divorced and has one daughter 24 yrs old soon he gonna visit me here in Philippines 🇵🇭

  106. I dont believe age is just a number!!! for so many I saw broken marriage….because of long gap age difference..spc 30 yrs different or more??? hmmmmm

  107. whats wrong with american women? Can you explain the gap between them and asian girls?

    1. @Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea just hope asian women that believes in old fashion way stay that way when they arrive to america. You should advice all your viewers that even they meet the perfect woman in asia, they should bring up that when the girl comes to us they have to sign a prenub and alimony contract, and make sure the girl knows what that means, in case to protect men and their property. Its very important you bring those things up.

    2. not ‘all’ women from any country are the same. but generally speaking, ‘most’ asian women still hold to and believe in more traditional roles for men and women in relationships.

      however, far too many western/american women have adopted a reversal in those roles (ie; ultra-feminism) and it is NOT attractive to men in the least.

  108. Nothing wrong with that as long as their intention is good and truly loves you not only the $ ,sorry my english.

  109. I appreciate your commentary. I have been in a relationship for 8 years with a pinay. I have spoken with her just as you have and done everything possible to grow her. She doesn’t want to grow doesn’t want to improve her English or learn to drive or go to school. She doesn’t mix well with people in the states. However when we are in Philippines she is more outgoing. I mix well in Philippines. Guess I will try another relationship.

  110. I think it sounds better to say, “If you want to commit a long term relationship with someone much younger”, instead of saying younger Pilipinas. Because the age gap relationship happens every where not only in the Philippines.

  111. You guys need to talk about finance with there families. They will always want to help there family out. Iv been married over 5 years and there’s always something going wrong or need help with there bills. Most Filipino don’t have a retirement and kids support them. Remember your there parents age or close to it. Nothing wrong with it. But Americans do not understand this culture. I here people say help them start up a store or give them away to make money. That don’t work been there tried it. Providence live is different. I have two home there they stay empty. I would love to there but wife is 17 years younger love her job want to get a retirement. I have one but can’t afford to support her family and us on it. And like most of us we have past life with grand kids small ones. So it’s difficult. My wife dose not mind me going to the philippines but after a few weeks I miss her and come home. But when I’m home I miss the philippines. I like your blogs keep up the good work

  112. I’m in a mentor-protege relationship. 20 years age gap. And yes, I have been busy helping her becoming a better knowledge equipped person. Many things she doesn’t know about life and how to have a healthy relationship. Patience & respect is the key. Always remember, her mentality can never be up to par with us for we will always be 20 years ahead. I always give her suggestions, options without heavily relying on my assistance (which is a very bad thing to do especially financially). Stimulate her mind. But I do help a lil financially to give her a moral boost; but I stated clearly to her that I am not a *bloated ATM* . I always encourage & support her to finish her education (at least a diploma), and reminding her, it’s for her future. And yes, there’s a 50-50 chances that this relationship/marriage would last if lucky or may not. Keep that in mind but not to dwell on it.

  113. Appreciate this video, however, the Logic about the protege – mentor approach is flawed. What 18 to 25 year old girl in the world wakes up in the morning and says to themselves, I can’t wait to have my elders teach me how to live my life. What 18 to 25 year old wants to live by someone else’s rules of life. NONE. Not Americans not Filipinas, Not any. Part of life and growth of a young adult comes from discovering one’s own self. That comes with making mistakes, having their own ideas, having their own freedom to make their own set of rules ( even if they are bad ones ) When you get married it’s about coming together and creating new ways of living together. The Mentor-Protege approach is being a parent. If you have your heart set on Marrying a Filipina so you can be there Mentor with benefits I would strongly re-consider. I’m 43 and my wife is 23. Nothing wrong with offering some wisdom, just don’t be surprised when they do the complete opposite. More often than not, this gung ho mentorship approach is seen as controlling behavior by most women. Women, even Filipinas, do not want to be a protege, they want to live, they want to think for themselves. You want a truly happy age gap relationship, don’t be her mentor. Be a husband. What I am saying here is not just my opinion, it’s proven psychology. A woman wants these 3 things more than anything in the world. 1. They need to feel love 2. They want to feel seen and be understood. A husband notices her positive attributes, habits, or behavior. A husband understands what makes her feel understood even if he doesn’t agree with her. 3. They want to feel safe. Different things make women feel unsafe. A husband discovers what those REALLY are and takes care of his women. He would give his own life for hers if the situation arises. It’s being her man in every aspect. Notice this is all about being her man. Not being her mentor. Again, suggesting that Age gap success comes with the man being the mentor and Filipina being a protege is very flawed. Not saying there is no value in offering guidance and wisdom to your Filipina wife. What I’m saying is, it’s not the foundation of what a genuinely “in love” Filipina needs from their man. Just be sure to value her thoughts, ideas, and nuggets of wisdom too. Just because someone is older, it doesn’t always make them wiser. My wife and I learn from each other every day. Whats to say my way of budgeting, or doing a certain thing a creatin way based on my wisdom is the best way?

    1. reading your second comment it’s now much clearer. you are making the assumption that the man is somehow insulting or debasing the younger woman.

      now granted, ‘some’ selfish/immature men will do that. but why presume that upon everyone who wants to see his wife/g-f glean from his own life experience.

      it’s like assuming that anyone with authority is already guilty of abusing it. and nothing in what i said comes from that viewpoint at all.

    2. Reekay’s LifeBeyondTheSea What I mean by “follow someones rules if life” is one persons way of being and doing. We are all conditioned a certain way throughout life, from the influence of our parents through childhood to creating our own way through adulthood. Those become our rules of life. Its how we do, think, act, behave, believe in etc.

      Not about caging her with authoritarian rule.

      I met my wife in 2017. I went through LDR, the whole deal, and been to the Philippines over a dozen times. I also have spent the last ten years of my life studying human behavior, relationship psychology, and have had the pleasure of helping thousands of Filipinas and Westerners with their challenges for years.

      I heard very clearly. You emphasized the word ABLE, saying “ the keyword is able, to provide guidance, knowledge, preparation for the future.”

      This would imply a Filipinas in their 20s are not able.

      Yes, a husband should be there for his wife, that’s relationships 101. Yes, as a husband he should want to see her grow. But more importantly, He should want her to grow her own way. A man can offer guidance and knowledge for sure but he should also be open and perfectly okay if she decides to look at or do things differently. First-hand experience with my Filipina wife today as a matter of fact. She ordered a decorative door hanger with our initial on it. Unfortunately, it was packed rather poorly and a piece of the H cracked as she took it out if the box. She felt awful that it was broken. She was proud that she used a computer all by her self and used her very own debit card to purchase it. ( Pun intended) So, I offered my years of wisdom to her. I said, “ its ok dear. It’s a clean break, so all we need to do is super glue it. I’m happy to get some super glue tomorrow and fix it. She replied, I don’t want you to worry about it love, i will just use this hot glue gun instead and paint the front so you cant see the crack. Then, I really shared my wisdom of super glue repairing. Showing her its a clean break and telling her that if the superglue is thinly applied you won’t be able to tell it even broke. She said, ok love. Then 5 hours later after I woke up, I walk out and see that she fixed it herself with the hot glue gun and painted it to try and hide the crack. It didn’t work because the hot glue was too thickly applied. Regardless, she did it her way and I’m glad she did.

      This is 2020, my wife (23) and most Filipinas I have met ( thousands ) are perfectly competent and know how to ask Siri or google things if they need info. Filipinas can be very resourceful, I’m sure you know this.

      Be a good husband and be there for your wife if she needs your help. Keywords are “if she needs your help”.

      Taking the “you are the Student and I am the ABLE Teacher” approach sends a signal to the Filipinas brain that, over time, will take a toll on her self – esteem and the relationship.

      Yes, I agree that when they come to the U.S. there is a lot they will likely need to learn. As a husband, give her the tools she needs to learn at her own pace and on her own. For example, talk about finding a good driving instructor and then just let her go learn to drive. Let them be the teacher, you be a supportive husband.

      For an experiment, I will run a survey and ask 30,000 Filipinas from all walks of life how much they value being treated like an incapable student or protege.

      By the way, please don’t take this as a personal attack. I am just a nut for good logical debates on different theories. I have watched many of your videos and appreciate your desire to help people.

    3. based on actual experience, i have to completely disagree with your statement, “What 18 to 25 year old wants to live by someone else’s rules of life. NONE. Not Americans not Filipinas, Not any.”

      that is likely true among that age group in western society. but i know first-hand that here in the PH, there are filipinas in their early 20’s who not only want, but appreciate, having a man who will mentor them in life. i’ve had these relationships so your statement is simply not in touch with actuality when you say ‘none’ would want that.

      further, if you listen to what i actually said, it was about mentoring. NOT “rules” as you thought i said. nothing about what i said had anything to do with laying down rules for her. it was entirely about helping her grow and somehow you missed that and thought it was about caging her in with an authoritarian rule. i was very clear so i really can’t see how you missed the actual statements i made.

      i gather you’ve been married quite some time. this might explain why you are out of touch with what dating is like, ‘now’.

      further, remove the protege-mentor relationship and you have a man who expects his younger wife/g-f to possess understanding that she has no life-experience for. and as for learning from each other, that is not excluded at all. one of the great benefits of being with a younger woman is learning to see things in a different light.

  114. Hello! Yes age doesn’t really matter it is just number. I am much happier with more mature and older man. My husband is only 8 years older than me but I love his maturity. He is very loving and romantic. We’ve been together for 8 years. Very good 8 years. I want to be with him forever. 😁

  115. I really like your chats when you are at a location and I can actually see you instead of just hearing you great info.

  116. So … treat her right, always remember the little things count. You will learn from her too. We are all bags of information, you will know lots of things, don’t forget that she will too.

  117. One thing that most people dont often consider with age gap, is not just the person you are with, but any children you may have. A child needs their father later in life, but if you are advanced in age, chances are you will be dead when they truly need their father in their life.

    1. personally, it is just ‘one-more’ reason why i decided years ago to no longer make any more children.

  118. My problem was having to “raise” a woman who is already past 50 and should’ve already known many of the things you say may need to be taught a much younger woman.

  119. I’d appreciate, and upvote, if you add a written summary to all your videos.

  120. We see this topic eye to eye. I appreciate that you’re here saying it.

    The point you made that I would like to reiterate is that, if you actually love someone, then you want for them, what they want for themselves, and you want what is best for them, even if it doesn’t include you. This is how love behaves. I say this from experience, not theory.

  121. I read of some community where the norm was to marry twice, each time to a person much different in age.  The older person taught the younger.

  122. Hello Reekay . Thanks for all the great videos and information. As a mid-50’s man who can NOT have anymore children and does not want anymore, I feel the only honorable thing for me to do if a young woman tells me she wants kids is to let her go or don’t even start a romantic relationship with her. She may say it’s ok but maybe she is thinking she can change my mind. As the more responsible mature person I need to make that decision. There are plenty of other girls out there who do not want kids or already have kids.

  123. You nailed it. Mentor protege relationship. If you’re a good man. But it also requires a certain kind of woman who is open and honest enough to respect your experience and knowledge – there are many arrogant young women who will not. Figure that out quickly for the sake of your happiness.

  124. The maturity and knowledge of a woman younger or old depends how the mother brought up a person when the mother smart that for sure the person really smart literate and can stand with own feet on ground !

  125. A lot of older guys will have had a vasectomy if they have kids already from previous marriage or relationships .

  126. I have never watched your videos until today and I just watched this one. I don’t know how you got a hold of my playbook but everything you said in this video sounded like I was doing the talking and someone else was giving me advice. My wife was 22 and I was 50 when we got married over 30 years ago. I was lucky because my wife already had a two year old daughter that came with our marriage vowels. Her daughter had a baby girl 7 years ago and she was the answer to my wives dreams and she probably saved our marriage from disaster like you mentioned in your comments. I agree with you 100 % and I hope you continue giving others advice. I did all the things for my wife that you mentioned. Driving a car, speaking English, Banking, budgets, allowance, friends and everything I have taught or allowed were bonus’s to our marriage giving me the best of both worlds. I could go on and on but you already know everything I could possibly say for you seem to reside in my own head but don’t worry because I won’t charge you rent because it is a pleasure knowing someone that thinks and acts exactly like I do. Keep up the good work. Melvin E. Holliday RM1 (SS) USN Ret. I have a sub buddy (James Madden) that retired in the Philippines and is living a good life there now.

    1. having a long-term relationship with a younger woman is NOT for everyone. it’s not even for everyone who ‘wants’ it if they don’t have the sort of giving, patient personality for it.

      generally, most older guys want a ‘simpler’ life and really should stick with someone older who is ‘less maintenance’ than a younger woman.

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