Life As A Married Expat – The Good And Bad About Age Gap

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    My Story:

    After 49 years of doing the hamster-wheel in California, I finally left it all
    and decided to see what Southeast Asia had to offer. I moved to the Philippines
    for 6 years, experienced some of the best times of my entire life!

    Now, I am exploring again and living in Vietnam. Join me as I venture out to see
    more of Vietnam and the surrounding areas. I will share with you my thoughts on
    what I see and how I handle the various challenges of living as a full-time expat
    in Southeast Asia. For more photos and non-Youtube videos, join or follow my
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    — Reekay
    #philippines #vietnam #travel

    marrying a filipina – marrying a filipina – why are so many men choosing to marry a filipinas.
    Things You Should Know Before Courting or Marrying a Filipina Girl, Filipina women are cute, polite, hospitable and beautiful. Marrying A Filipina

    Truth about marrying a filipina Benefits of marrying a Filipina
    pros and cons!!!! Reasons why you should marry a Filipina woman
    what happens when you marry a filipina!? you know you are dating a filipina when…
    so while we definitely support age gap relationships when it comes to an older man marrying a filipina or a filipina wanting to marry an older foreign man it’s important to really understand the good and the bad that can come from it.
    marrying a filipina for more than 5 years.

    a guide for westerners marrying a filipina in the philippines!

    if you’ve ever thought about marrying a filipina woman before then at some point or another you must face these questions.
    marry filipina what are the benefits?
    marrying a filipina girl and making her a filipina wife is not all centred on her natural beauty. marrying a filipina – marrying a filipina – why are so many men choosing to marry a filipinas …
    more and more men are seeking out filipinas to marry. why american men want to marry filipino women – the real truth.
    tampo in filipino culture refers to a behavior in which a person withdraws his or her affection or cheerfulness from a person who has hurt his or her feelings.

  2. “Court Raped”? Never heard that term before. I guess most of us that are fleeing American culture have been court raped.

  3. This is one of your best videos 👍….. especially around the 20 minute mark ….if most guys would just listen to what you said there ….you wouldn’t hear of all the horror stories when bring a Philippina to the U.S. I live near a Navy base and have seen this more times then I care for …..

  4. Whilst much of what you’ve explained Reeky I do whole heartedly agree with with, there are however many cultural differences between women of say the 4 countries you note. Some cultures are close and others very distant. The Philippines is by far the easist SE country for a western man to enter and assimilate. Why because the average Philippino speaks English and is well educated. Now many Expats will not agree to that and say the mentality is different. Yes of course it is, but when its all compared to the other 3 it’s very easy, if the western thinker starts adopting to the why of thinking of his now new environment. The Philippines is dead easy because he can communicate. It’s for him to change his way of thinking, not the locals. It’s their country not his. It’s been my observation that one of the biggest problems that western blokes have coming into a non-English speaking SE Asian environment is they have a western mentality that they can’t lose, which of course is entirely understandable, but they haven’t taken the time or effort to at least learn a little about what they are entering into. A problem for them too is to listen to other expats who haven’t a clue on the language, may be a few words, or the culture they are giving advice on. Vietnmaese hold the next rank when it comes to a better level of education and having a more westernised adaptable way of thinking and the understanding of technology and to they do hold a lot of value on keeping their marriages alive when married to an expat, and that includes when there’s a big age gap when they are in a western society, but there isn’t that many mixed marriages with Vietnamese when compared to the Philippines or Thailand. I really have lost count on the number of divorced expats who had Thai wifes and couldn’t make it with them and ended up in Cambodia mainly because the Cambodian visa situation is far more acceptable and cheaper and so is the cost of living and particularly the grog. Thailand has been exposed to western men and money enmass since the start of the US involement in Vietnam in the early 60’s. Pattaya came out of that. As a result an illegal market has blossemed that’s called prostitution. The Thai economy now thrives on it in the form of tourism. Thai women have developed ways to handle western men by giving them, at a cost, and easily what those men can’t get at home. Again we see language being a problem with the Thai wife being quite well educated but in the Thai language and learning her version of English from the expat husband. The husband becomes language lazy and therefore communication and cultural understanding fails, hence divorce florishes, and boy does it florish. Cambodia on the otherhand presents a rather different situation. Cambodia is new on the western male/dating/wife scene and a real backwater compared to the other 3. Culturally Cambodians aren’t that different to the Thai. Religion, and dancing are identical and of Khmer origin. Whist the Khmers have been fighting one another, to the benefit of the Thai’s, the Thai’s have been marketing themselves. The Thai langauge contains approx 15% Khmer but in a tonal format. If you speak Khmer you can have very basic conversations in Thai. It’s more difficult for a Thai to learn Khmer than it is for a Khmer to learn Thai. In the border regions both languages are in common use, though with different accents. The written numerals are the same in both languages and of Khmer origin but with Thai names to the munbers. Thai counts on the 10 format where Khmer counts on 5 i.e. 5+1=6, 10+5+1=16 (which is also spoken back to front). Khmer is a monotone language but the written language is not the spoken language and in a highly abreveated structure which makes it all the more difficult to learn. The Thai script is a highly modified and sunstantially simpler version of Khmer. According to the experts Khmer is the 2nd most complex alphabet on Earth after Chinese which doesn’t have an alphabet, just characters. In any event very few foreingers learn to speak Khmer but their wifes quickly learn English which is very easy by comparison. English is widely spoken in Cambodia. All Banks, supermarkets, airlines, internet companies, etc. and the younger market vendors in the larger local markets will speak English, though they’ll use French to say English (which of course doesn’t make sense). As a result of all these complexities there’s little cultural understang by the expat husband, but the marriages appear to be quite stable in general and particularly if the wife is taken out of Cambodia. Age differententials don’t mean much as the Khmer woman is very, very poorly educated relying so much on the husband in his country and really sticks to the look after the family issues. In terms of female beauty its a toss up really between all 4 countries. 28 years ago one couldn’t find a fat Cambodian, today your really battling to find a skinny one and it all gets down to foreign influence, technolgy and the availability of money. Cambodia really didn’t come out of war untill 1998, but before then Cambodia was just another failed Communist state. However when the UN arrived in 1992 with them came money and development and therein started a whole cultural change that swept the country, but the lack of quality education is still a big problem. The Cambodia of today is a world different compared to 1992, however the thinking hasn’t changed. Having such a complex writting system that has never been upgraded mainly due to war, makes the thinking of the Cambodian women different than either Thai, Vietnamese, and Phillipine women. Khmer women are very strong and conscientious workers. Their family and sibbling responsibility ensures that. If they are of provincial orgin Khmer women would have been bought up under the unwritten handed from mother to daughter “woman’s law” In a construction company situation I much prefer to have 80 out of 100 staff Khmer women and the remaining in men to do the heavy work, and pay them all well. Khmer women are neat and tidy, and very willing workers, will always ask, where men won’t as they lose face. There’s a whole litany of things if a western bloke is prepared to learn, and wishes to live a very easy life in Cambodia, then his life will be cheaper and just as forefilling as the other 3 countries with a Khmer wife. One word of warning, stay away from that new to Cambodia consept known as the bar girl. She like her Thai, Vietnamese and Philippino sisters suffer from the same situation, poverty. After 28 years in Cambodia and watching the country go from failure to a blasing market economy and all due to the will of the people, not so called government. Taking the time, effort and patience to learn to communicate in Khmer, Thai and Vietnamese and having those nationalities as staff, the comparisions between them are really quite different. Therefore generalisations of what takes place in one country may not nessaressily take place in the others. It all depends at what level an expat seeks to enter and learn to adapt to his new environment.

  5. For me the woman’s age was more inportant than the age-gap. Needed to be older than 25, the age when the mind if fully developed. Needed to be less than 28 at marriage to give her a good 7 years to have children. Wanted a woman in health care or education to give us some commonality, a responsible mindset. Wanted a girl from a remote island (probably forced to work in a city). You are not going to bump into that kind of woman at the mall. She isn’t going to be there and wouldn’t even talk to you if she was, assuming that you are just a sex tourist. Online is the only way you are going to meet someone like that. Has worked out for me 18 years and 2 kids later and living in the Philippines for a decade.

  6. I am an old Canadian expat. I haven’t been in Canada for 20 years. Lived in Mexico for 16 years and here in Nha Trang, Vietnam for 4 years. I would like to say the points you raise apply just as equally to the person who hasn’t been more than 50 km from the town where they were born. They are just common sense and not unique to expats.
    I married my Vietnamese wife after knowing her and dating and living together for a year. There is a big age gap but it doesn’t seem to cause any problems. I agree completely with @Speeder.

  7. wow!!!! wonderful Filipinas, smart , they do yoga , exercise and still single !!??? sure. without yoga and exercise they wouldnt be smart and wonderful ??????

  8. damn that was some really good advice you really helped me open my eyes and see things like I have never seen them before I like the in part where you were talking about the age Gap being really a problem here in United States it makes a lot of sense thanks a lot

  9. Many foreign women become westernized and when they make friends they play a part in their heads .

  10. agree with you. .usually they families is a big help..
    They advice the woman be faithful etc.

  11. If you refuse to get married…..don’t start procreating. It makes _everything_ more complicated.

  12. This is the video I hoped someone would make. Now, if only guys pay attention without prejudgement, with an open mind, and truly understand and take to heart what is shared here. I bookmarked this to share so I won’t need to try to explain. You’ve explained it all, in the best and most comprehensive way I’ve seen.

  13. Thats why you make sure to beat the shit out of those type of guys automatically. which I have seen done on numerous occasions with the butt of a pistol.

  14. Thank you Reekay. Everyone who is seeking marriage in a foreign county should be listening to you.

  15. Very good points to consider. I’ve been looking into retiring in the Philippines and my Filipina girlfriend in 23 years younger than me.

  16. It is 100x easier to find a good Filipina or Asian girl than to find a job in Asia. A girl never has 200~500 candidates to become her bf. Good job offers usually attract 200~500 CV’s

  17. If you go to the Philippines looking for a wife you are in trouble. You most likely will jump in too fast and too deep. Go there and have fun and believe me, you will definitely find a relationship in time. Like anywhere in the world, there are good and bad …….that can go both ways. But definitely easier to get into a relationship with a women half your age. Just remember many come with a kid or two. LOL…..if you don’t mind instant families….you can find happiness.

  18. Ill take ur advice on my thai gf n stay in Thailand, which i don’t mind living in Thailand

  19. Reekay, you’re assuming most guys take the time to think. Unfortunately a lot of guys are so starved for affection from the states that the first attention they get from a younger woman, they toss all caution to the wind and jump right in. Lust is usually the driving force behind newer relationships. The inability to curb these desires gets a lot of guys into deep trouble. Love is a whole different category. Maybe a video exclusively on the subject of JUST TAKING THEIR TIME and like you said, know exactly what they’re looking for and own it.

    A break on visa? Poor decision for marriage, I see lots of people in the states who used to get married for tax benefits and such, all the wrong reasons .As far as a taking a good Filipina to the state,s they’re not just exotic, they’re golden. Finding a good woman in the states is rare and a good Filipina will stand out. Although it is true that most western cultures will corrupt most woman, a truly good girl won’t change, so i would say, be sure you have a good one before you take her to your home country or you will find out pretty quickly just how good she is.

    Most in the Phillippines have life long dreams and goals to go to another country, especially the states. Good suggestion for guys, find a girl who does not want to go, who genuinely wants to stay in her home country and live a simple life. If she is truly serious about that, as time goes on, you can probably change her mind with a visit or two, but at least you know, she’s not just in it for the trip like so many are here in the Philippines. Many girls will be fine with dating and such, until you tell them, I’m not going back to my home country. When you say it, pay close attention to her demeanor and response. Good way to know what her intentions are.

  20. At over 60, I sure do not want children by ‘accident” No more live round for me. And about the age gap, you are 100 % right ! I live in Thailand and would never move with my wife to my country.

  21. Harold Baldar gave this same lecture . Same conclusion regarding age gap. Don’t bring her home.

  22. That was really good advice. I’m really interested in Vietnam. I do plan on getting married again. After my wife passed away. I plan on making a 3 week trip next year to Asia. And I’m considering going to Vietnam. And just have a look around for 3 weeks. I’m 55 years old.

    1. hi Keith, hope you can visit Philippines soon, I d be happy to show you around❤️ Filipina here..

  23. I did notice that when traveling too the Philippines but having layovers in other countries that I didnt get the attention like in the Philippines it’s like your a star or the best looking guy around, a nice feeling.
    Some great info Henry!!

  24. So many expats say there married . But when you are talking they know very little about the process
    I’ve been living in the Philippines sense 2003 .
    I don’t really share a lot . Only to my friend s
    My best friend has lived in the PI for 40 years
    Never returned to America in fact 3 of my friends lived here for 25 years plus

  25. I was lucky . I was looking for english speak lady .
    She had 2 daughters all of them spoke perfect English.
    My wife was married to an american he treated her well not good .
    I met them in a resturant. I gave her hubby my Biz Card in case he might want to work for me .
    2 years passed then i got a call he ran off no money no electric .
    So it started our relation ship .
    I paid 3000 USD for an Annulment.
    A year later we were married .
    Been Married sense 2005
    Yes I went to the US Embassy got the paperwork to get married .
    Its quit the process

  26. The fifth option is marrying a young filipina with kid, then all of a sudden you meet her husband.

  27. You’re a wise man. Seriously. Well put together and rational. Thanks for the content.

    1. hi Rich. Have you visited Philippines? If you do come visit, I can show you around❤️

  28. Great video Reekay and sound advice . Nothing you said i would disagree with, and as usual your views are balanced recognising we all need different things. The one thing I would emphasise is great relationships are possible if you take the time to choose your soulmate and as you say really experience life with them . . The most telling point you make is to know yourself and know what you want because only then will you know what is going to make you really happy. Keep the great vids coming

  29. u never bring a foreign women to the WEST, dont make her entitled and use the Law against u.

  30. I agree with you. I had a hot gf from Russia. Guys hit on her everyday. Better to stay in their country. It is a joke in the US.

  31. Baltasar Gracian (1601 – 1658) said, “Never encourage a man to get married or go to war.”

  32. “they actually think that they are somehow better looking in the Philippines”.

    Actually.. they ARE! Henry.. and I know that you know this. Good looks is a perception. And a “rare” guy or foreigner, or “white dude” IS better looking… to a Filipina.

    And… that is ALL that matters. All that matters is what your target demographic thinks of you, and not anyone else. Hence.. you technically ARE better looking.. in the Philippines.

    And by the way… SHE is better looking in the west.. because there.. she is the rare and exotic. It’s all perception.

    1. I see so many Old, unfit, unhealthy, and out of shape Ex Pats. Even Ned from My Philippine Dream let himself go (he is former US Military Vet), and spoke on his vlog regarding intermittent fasting to get in shape. Kudos to Ned, if he succeeds, he will not be looked upon as a typical ExPat.

    2. Mark Sweeter You have a point. Filipinas think they are average despite being drop dead gorgeous because that is so common.

  33. Reekay did you get any vaccinations/shots(I.e. tentnas etc) before traveling?

    1. i didn’t initially, but i’m looking at getting them in california this december. tetanus, Hep are the most likely needed.

  34. I had a beautiful Dutch friend from Amsterdam Hannah who went to the usa for the first time with her friends. She said to me in Amsterdam that she could never live in the USA because people (men) were hitting on her all the time. She could not stand it. In Europe men leave her alone and treat her normally. I noticed the same thing happen years ago when I was much younger with my sexy American wife. Nowadays., unless you happen to have a lot of money or you are famous, American girls I am sad to say have very little to offer. I Los Angeles 4 years ago I noticed that many were acting as if they did not need men. Rather be an old man in Asia than a desolate lonely old man. This might be generational because my father and mother were married for 52 years. Different values back then. Retrospectively, I believe so called womens liberation has been a disaster. Thai girls want act feminine and are not concerned at all about being liberated but you will be expected in most cases to support them

    1. All our values have been subverted and it’s aaaaaaall downhill from here. I’m not even 30. The destruction of truth, family, religon, and culture spell an end to the West.

  35. A lot of very insecure men here. I dated a very attractive American girl 30 years my junior for four years after my separation. Yeah, guys were constantly hitting on her but guess what? At the end of the day she was coming home to my bed. I never had any intentions on it being a permanent thing, so when that ended I told my friends I was going to Asia to get a wife, and found a beautiful, educated (degrees in English and banking) Khmer girl 26 years younger than me. I have no worries bringing her to the US.

  36. I have seen a lot of Filipina to American marriages. A super majority work out well over the longterm. Even the age gap ones often weather the storms. I will say this though, I have seen a few large age gap marriages end because of the large (30 years) difference. One who was married while Very young left har husband after 12 years or so because “he is an old man”. It wasn’t because anyone prompted her. That may happen, but I have not witnessed it.

  37. I am glad you brought up the topic of bringing a foreign wife back home to the Western world. This may not be popular to talk about, but in my experience I see that the relationship fails more often than not.
    I do not buy into the common logic of the Western guy that his wife or girlfriend is “different”.

    1. Magandag Gabi Kuya. I miss your channel. When are you bringing it back up?

  38. Good grief, Reekay, I’m about to import a wife to be very soon and now you have me a little bit worried! We’re 15 years apart and I would move to her country if I didn’t have a grandson who doesn’t have a dad and needs me in his life right now. One of my biggest fears is that she’ll become westernized and possibly ruined before we have a chance to move back to her country later. I also have worried about the influence of an evil Filipina “possie” forming here around her and influencing her negatively. And about her finding a younger American man, and then of course divorcing me and taking me for half of what I’ve worked so hard for. Ugh! I worry about these things because of all the negative stories I either read about or watch on all these vlogs. Even though I want to believe she cares for me as much as I care for her and would never do that to me. Geez!

  39. Hi Henry! Appreciate your videos, good info! I noticed in your background, its clean and neat. A lot different than the Philippines. Take care, Dave H.

  40. Just wondering reekay, what went wrong with the relationship you had with the beautiful Vietnamese women. You guys looked good together

  41. That’s just life my friend! Same with American women. I did both at one time. But I meet one filipina on line working in Saudi as a nurse. Before that I was going back and forth to the philippines. Having fun. Then when you lest expect it. I get a friend request. 6 years latter we now live in fla in the USA we are still in love with 17 years difference in age. I just retired she still working. Only issue is we have two houses in the philippines and I’d would like to stay longer being retired. But it’s not fair for her she is living her dream. So lot of give and take. I was blessed we tease one another about who found and like you about not wanting kids I was the same she had one and I had one so we are complete. But I’m 54 and don’t want to have kids again and she is fine. We help family in the philippines as much as we can. But we don’t support them help them. She works so life is good. I enjoy your video learned a lot your a good man keep making the videos.

  42. I am one of those crazy guys that stayed with the same job for 35 years. Lol I am still only 56. I am not expecting marriage, but if I meet that special girl that enjoys the things I like, then I would have to make that commitment. I would rather just live together permanently, being I will never have children, and I will not be with a woman with children.

  43. By the way, if you meet a Filipina who smokes, you can bee sure that she is not a good girl! What kind of girl is she? 99% a bar girl, or former bar girl. Yeah, I know, you want to think that she was forced into that life, it’s not her fault, and you can be the “White Knight” who can rescue her, but believe me, regardless of all that, she is ruined. Her character is completely destroyed, and there is no way you are going to put the genie back in the bottle. Run for your life!

  44. Reekay is exactly correct, once again, concerning what the perceptions will be if you bring a young, good looking Asian girl back to your home country. Listen to his words very carefully, in fact hang upon them. Do not bring a young, pretty Asian girl back to the West. Guys will feel that it is their duty to rescue her from your evil clutches. Guys will feel that she should be with someone younger, such as themselves! Guys will feel that she is too hot for you! Guys will be jealous of you. . . I’m talking your supposed friends. She will be taken from you! This happened to me, and four other friends, and at least half a dozen acquaintances of mine who married Filipinas, and brought them home to California. Three of us failed to learn anything by this lesson, and married a second Filipina, only for it to happen again.

  45. In fact, some other expats were scornful of my advice, and refused to listen. Now, if you want a bar girl, no problem. Do everything as you would do back home. They will go with anyone, anytime. Say anything you want, anyway you want to say it. However, if you are looking for a good girl, you will simply need to Court her Filipino staple. Why be stubborn about it?

  46. I met many expats in the Philippines who simply could not meet a decent woman, because they refused to learn how to Court Filipino style. It’s a s simply as interviewing a few semi intelligence Filipino guys. I immediately noticed that the women were attracted to me, but I couldn’t understand why they would not go out with me. Very fortunately, a couple of Filipinos taught me what to say – the essential words that a good girl Filipina must hear, and the conditions you must meet, and my entire social life changed overnight. I offered to teach a number of expats what I had learned, but they were having none of it.

    1. Major Ronald Mandell , question; can you share a short list on the above comment ? salamat…

  47. I wish he would do a video on how to meet a Filipino woman for those of us who can’t move to the Philippines full-time (and yes, bring her back to the US).

  48. Spot on! How I wish i had this knowledge 15 years ago. It would have saved me much pain and suffering.

  49. Such astute observations, again, Henry! As one who has experienced, both, negative & positive aspects of marrying a same-age Filipina, & having her move to North America, I can relate to your comments. I often wonder if we would’ve had greater success in our lives if we had remained in Asia & I had continued to work there for less than I earned in North America. Oh, well, what’s done is done.

    Regardless, even though I’m “educated” about the Expat/Asian dating-marrying experience, and despite giving future such relationships a lot of thought, your videos often remind me that there are some things to be more aware of and less naive about.

    How’s the pizza in HCMC?

  50. I’m a few years older than Reekay, and I’d never bring a woman back to the US unless she was only, say, 10-15 years younger than me at most. If I decide I want to commit to someone younger, I will stay there.

  51. Your the SME(subject matter expert) and this is another great video. Your comparison to career is great and are you in a career you love? If you go into a marriage and work at it as if it’s your career dream job, you have a better chance.
    Lol, the Expat that goes to the Philippines and gets delusional and thinks he’s a rockstar, its so funny. We see this all the time.
    The foreigner that brings his younger more beautiful and “ out of his league “ wife back to his country is taking a huge chance. He better be a rockstar and have that “ shiny object” otherwise he could loose her for sure.

  52. If you keep meeting the wrong type of person over and over again, there is probably something wrong with you that makes you attracted to the wrong person. Dating the wrong person once in a while is just statistics. If it always happens year in and year out, it’s you.

    All those people who say never bring them back to your home country [see the comments], if that is the case your marriage is a sham.

    Yes there are no guarantees in life but losing a job is nowhere near as drastic of getting divorced. Nobody has had an employer take half their stuff after getting laid off, employers almost never accuse you of horrid stuff in the courts when getting rid of you, nor do they try to keep you away from your kids or turn them against you.

  53. I wouldn’t have a problem getting involved w/filipina who’s not married but w/1or 2 kids. Also never would bring one back to home country regardless of age. Too much culture shock & big risk of becoming contaminated.

  54. Great video. Looking back past ten years of travel to Philippines and dating, I only met 1 that caught my eye and made me feel cared for. She was from Pampanga. Now I know what I will be looking for when I am boots on the ground. Just not my time yet, my parents need help here at home so I am grounded for awhile.

  55. Spot on, excellent advice and points on dating, relationships in terms of foreigners in east Asia. Currently, culturally there still remains differences between the east and west, however, sadly, due to social media and political progressive liberalism the demographic landscape is moving towards non traditional trends. In particular, social media is rendering a negative influence on healthy relationships between men and women, promoting promiscuity and feminism.

    1. Spot on. Media and schools are creating leftist liberals and rank man haters femanists

  56. There is a fourth option. I don’t want to get married but I want to stay with the right woman forever. I want to stay flexible, when something goes wrong I just pack my things and move out. Then I don’t have the hassles of getting a divorce. Paperwork, legal fees..I may get ripped off by lawyers etc. The woman may turn to a beast and gets me killed to get all my heritage, pension etc. as my legal wife. When I stay unmarried the woman has no motivation to kill me then I am alive more valuable than dead. When I am dead she gets nothing.

    1. @ExpertChess I’ve also wondered if there wasn’t a certain level of suspected expat wealth that wouldn’t turn his marrying a Filipina into a death wish.

      I think Reekay may even have mentioned that it wouldn’t necessarily even be the wife behind it; it might simply be her ne’er-do-well brother expecting that he’d benefit from the victim’s estate since sharing with family is such a core value there.

    2. I’ve also wondered if there wasn’t a certain level of suspected wealth that would turn marriage into a death wish.

  57. I just recently got married with a lovely Vietnamese wife, who does everything to make me happy as much as I do to her. The moment she works hard to maintain our goals and loves to help poor children in the orphanage lead me to decide to spend the rest of my life with her in Vietnam to build a good foundation for our future family. The another benefit of marrying her as an expat did provided me to have a resident card for 3-5 years without requiring a Visa. If you become a spouse of Vietnamese is a simple process to get.

    By the way, age gap is not much an issue in Vietnam if you go to countryside. I’ve seen men getting married with 20 to 30 year old with more than 20 year of age gap. It’s just less common in the cities, which people are more conservative.

    1. People in big cities are definitely not more conservative. They are more materialistic and therefore young women tend to not accept much older husbands.

  58. Should be mandatory watching for all men on their 1st trip out of the West to the east. Well said and the same line I have been preaching to guys for decades. Unfortunately I have know men that understand this when talking to them about this but they have still run afoul of this wisdom. As my dad said, son you can’t save the world, quit trying, you’ll give yourself a heart attack.
    You couldn’t put all the missteps I have seen over the years in a book and the information is out there, but human nature being what it is, ya just gotta chuckle at the irony and keep on trucking.
    As a footnote, from experience I can testify that each of the countries have very different dating scenes, cultures and mores. Research all you can before going and seek out expats who have been in that particular country for some years and ask questions and listen to their advice. That said take it all with a pinch of salt and use some common sense.
    PS: Being flexible is a big help and take the new country for what is, not what you think it ought to be. Most of all have fun, relax and enjoy the variety life offers.

    1. @Love Beyond The Sea But she likely will ask you to buy this and get that….etc…. this car is two years old, it’s too old for me.. I want that new Lexus on the dealer lot over there.

    2. stangeriam The idea is she will be contaminated with western feminism or yield to temptation because she will be beautiful and married to an older guy. Never is too strong a word. My wife has been here for 3.5 years and only cares about our marriage. Her values oppose much of the west, so no worries here. If she’s committed to me in the Philippines she’s committed to me here.
      Reekay’s right, her mother will tell her to be good to her husband.

    3. May I ask why? I do understand why to not bring her back to the ‘west’…yet what
      about another third world Asian country?

  59. Primo! I am sure you are going to make a movie on your experiences in living overseas, I want to play a character in your movie. You paint good, vivid, and entertaining pictures… LMFAO 😂 😂 keep up the good work.

  60. 3 months is a good reference point to decide if she is worth the effort to get to know her in more detail. If things are still going well after a year then you may have found a keeper. I firmly believe it takes two years to know for sure.

  61. Besides having kids marriage is a disappointment,never met a happily married man,never get married in the PH,no divorce there,you are stuck with the witch you thought was an angel,enjoy your freedom to do things you enjoy w/o being nagged to death,I have experienced marriage in the states and in Asia, it aint worth it

    1. Ken!
      Here in the Philippines only one pilipina/pilipino can marry a person, marriage is sacred and holly here 🇵🇭
      And almost everyone who lives here is christian and almost ppl here should marriage.
      all over the world Philippines and the Vatican only banned devoce.the only way is sepeartion paper or annulment.
      in the world perspective,
      many seperated yes,many single mom YES!bt compared to other countries we are still ok according in marriage to foreigner,unlike in devorce legalize then it would be rarer to find someone/couple wth long lasting marriage..
      i heard western countries easily devorve!

  62. Bottom line: do NOT bring her to the West – very risky – why take the risk – you have been warned (fr USA)

    1. @Happy Wanderer : “What are the risks?”.
      She will gradually learn all the bad habits of her western “sisters”…..:) You’ll be back to square one.

    2. @Happy Wanderer : Reekay did an entire vid on this. Also review this vid starting at 15:37-21:15 .

    3. Texas Rebel This does happen but I know Fil-Am couples here in our city who give no indication there is a threat of this happening. I married a Filipina. I think the threat of disaster once in the states is exaggerated. Steps can be taken to mitigate this. Make a good choice and treat her special and you’ll be okay. Much goes into the first part.

  63. Nice background view. Compliments. I liked you comment about Filipinas and expats still single because of meeting the wrong potential partners. About expats, many of us mostly hang out in entertainments areas and the filipinas we meet might not be the best marriage candidates. No I don’t look down on bar girls or freelancers, but we expats some times gravitate to the wrong crowd, the low hanging fruit. “Wow, I’ve known her for a week, she even puts my toothpaste on my tooth brush for me (more Thai girls) tells me she loves me 20 times per day and I’ve never been happier.” Well OK, good luck with that; tell us how you feel two years later. A successful relationship is probably the most difficult thing any of us ever achieve. It’s difficult back home, let alone in a foreign country where most of us don’t have a clue about the culture, let alone speak the language. Kudos to the guys who pull it off, but many of us don’t do the hard work to make it successful, IMHO.

  64. Another helpful and interesting video Reekay. I’m always impressed and amazed at your powers of seeing and analysing different situations in life. I wish I possessed your level of clear thinking, and could sometimes take emotion out of the equation. Thanks as always for your insight and advice.

  65. Good advice Reekay. I’ve been through this already. On to my second Filipina now, 11 year age gap, I’m better looking than her (looks equivalence wise).

    All the horror stuff you said about bringing them back to your home country, happened to me.

    Wish me luck on round 2, I’m pretty sure I got a keeper now though. Thank God. Dating games and the market in general, sucks.

    My gf has had all kinds of offers from all age ranges of men. Some of the most outlandish things too, like being a kept woman and never having to work again if she’d be with them, etc…. Really, I mean, I am not surprised by anything anymore.

  66. Well put Henry.
    Been through the mill, made the mistakes.
    Not afraid to to jump in again as life is short, but definitely eyes wide open and tread lightly these days.

  67. Visited Phllipines a lot of times back in the days i love phillipinas, talking to a few right now, BUT i have an issue with marriage because of propeties i own, i must say that i am not longer looking for a beutiful women, i am looking for a beutiful soul, you are very smart right on point, no B.S. you ARE my number one expat youtuber.

  68. I live in a small city in Vietnam and see some expats married to Vietnamese women from time to time. They are usually around the same age and the guys look absolutely miserable. Their wives are control freaks and ball busting harpies.

    i see why most western guys steer clear of this place.

    1. @Robert Davis that’s great news, can they balance a beer on their head?

    2. Danny Smith I agree with your observations & I’ve seen the same thing in Vietnam. There’s usually a good reason why an older (30+) woman in Vietnam isn’t married & I avoid them like the plaque. The typical older & single Viet women can be very domineering but will play the “perfect girlfriend” role until the expat is hooked & married. The Viet men as a general rule will not put up with that BS which is why she’s older & unmarried when meeting the expat. Just what I’ve seen in my 14 years of traveling Vietnam.

  69. Loved the color at the very beginning of the video! Awesome view too!

    You’ve got to share that with me the next time we speak🤓

    Great video. Looking forward to marrying my Filipina Fiancée in the next 5 months.

  70. Excellent evaluation and can only be told by real experience from life….

  71. Hey Henry. From experience, leave em there.
    One tried to court rape me but got nothing 0 zip nada lol.
    But you are exactly right about the local Filipino tribe pulling them away.
    Been there done that seen that.
    And I am number 2 lol
    As always great information for those just starting.

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